Yes, and I'd go further: a baby who has settled and fallen asleep should be left to sleep. Waking her to bring up air she may not even have is a poor trade, and I made it hundreds of times before anybody suggested otherwise.
This is one of the places where what I was taught and what the evidence says have parted ways, and I've changed my own practice completely, which at my age is no small thing.
If she falls asleep mid-feed
They do, all the time, in the first months, because feeding is warm and rhythmic and tiring. If I could fall asleep that easily I would.
Hold her upright against your chest for a minute or two while she sleeps, and don't pat, don't jiggle, don't talk. If a burp arrives it arrives, and if it doesn't, put her down on her back and let her sleep, and go and do the same yourself.
Don't wake her. Not by sitting her up, not by changing her nappy, not by tickling her feet. I was shown all of those and did all of them. If she has trapped wind she'll wake within a few minutes and tell you, and you can deal with it then. That's far better than waking every baby in case one of them needed it.
But what about choking?
This is the fear behind the question, and it deserves a straight answer, because it frightens a lot of people. It frightened me. It isn't well founded.
A healthy baby sleeping on her back doesn't choke on milk she brings up. Her body protects her: on her back, her windpipe lies above her food pipe, so anything that comes up drains away and is swallowed. Her gag and cough reflexes also work perfectly well while she sleeps, which is more than can be said for mine.
People often turn this fear round into a reason to put a baby on her front or side to sleep. That's exactly backwards, and it's the most important thing I can tell you here. Sleeping on the side or front raises the risk of sudden infant death, and it gives no protection against choking in return, because the choking risk was never real. I'm not sure who first told me otherwise. Somebody in a maternity ward in 1985, I'd guess. Put her on her back for every sleep, naps included, whatever anybody tells you about wind, and whatever I told my own daughters before I knew better.
What not to do instead
Everything here is sold or recommended to help with wind at night, and none of it belongs in a cot.
- Never prop or incline the cot, or put anything under the mattress to raise the head. Inclined sleepers have been recalled after deaths, and on a raised surface a baby can slide down into a position that blocks her airway.
- No pillows, no rolled towels, no wedges, no positioners of any kind.
- No sleeping on her front or her side, whatever the wind is doing.
- No car seat, bouncer or swing as a sleep place, since a young baby's head can fall forward far enough to obstruct her breathing.
- No sleeping on a sofa or in an armchair with an adult, which is the most dangerous arrangement there is.
- Nothing loose in the cot at all: flat, firm, clear, and on her back.
If reflux is part of the picture, talk to a doctor. It isn't a reason to change where or how she sleeps, and no safe-sleep body anywhere makes an exception for it.
Safe sleep, in full
Cutting down on the three o'clock version
The best way to spend less time winding at night is to let less air in during the feed, and you can work on that in daylight, when you can see what you're doing.
- Feed her before she's frantic. A baby who's crying hard gulps air, so calming her first is quicker than pushing on.
- Keep her upright or laid back during the feed, never flat, which helps slow things down.
- For a bottle, keep the teat full of milk and hold the bottle horizontal so she sets the pace.
- Check the teat flow. Too fast and she gulps; too slow and she works hard and swallows air doing it.
- For the breast, a deep latch is what counts. Clicking, smacking or dimpled cheeks mean air is getting in, and someone should look at the latch in person.
- Then hold her upright for a minute afterward, in the dark, in silence, and put her down.
Read next
Where this comes from
- The Lullaby Trust: Safer sleep advice
- American Academy of Pediatrics: A Parent's Guide to Safe Sleep
- NHS: Reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome
This guide is general information, written to help you understand a topic and ask better questions. It is not medical advice and does not replace your own doctor, midwife or paediatrician. Anything that worries you about your baby belongs with them.